was chatting and playing with kids last night when their daddy joined us. He joked with the kids and told them, "wah, yr aunt's SIL also on mummy's fav forum leh. And she said mummy complain about you guys and said that you all are uncontrollable...." Immediately my elder boys went, "hah? why would mummy say that? when were we ever uncontrollable?" As usual, he switched topics and talked about other things before heading out again.
After putting the kids to sleep, I went to talk to him. I had to clear this bcos it is literally putting words into my mouth, and worse still, it concerns my perception of my kids. He said he spoke to her to clarify what happened. And instead of responsibility and safety issues, she diverted to ask why cant a 13yo go home himself? why I have no confidence in my sons? and she told him that she brought my kids out bcos I seeked her help to counsel my kids, that's why she's doing me a favour. It's not as if she wants to bring my kids out. So I am being ungrateful to her, after seeking her help, turn around and call her irresponsible. And she added that her SIL is on my fav parenting forum and had asked her about my complaints about the kids there, and if they are really so uncontrollable? and she added in cantonese "好心做坏事".
I told the man, the kids and I have always thot that she likes to bring them out bcos she loves and misses them, that's why I always encourage the kids to spend time with her whenever she's back. So now I know, we've all these while been 自做多情. And I only remembered sharing with her and other SIL about Drew's problems when he was P5, a period when he was defiant and hiding and not doing homework. At that time I did mention that if they've time, do speak to him and hopefully with all of us showing our concerns, he'll change for the better. But that was 2 1/2 yrs ago!? Drew has already changed and matured so much. And i showed him her sms and told him that I was mad with her bcos of her rebuttal. I'm talking about her responsibility towards the kids' safety, but she turn around to attack me. I agree when he said 2 wrongs dont make 1 right. But I just wanted her to know she has to be responsible when she brings the kids out. Is making a call to chk that they're home safely too much to ask for?
I'm glad I had the talk with the man and let him understand my points. He asked me not to be so upset about it and suggested that I shd perhaps have a talk with her to clear it up. But I told him, I've had enough of her and I wonder who actually is the one 好心遭雷劈. I will not be nasty to her, but dun expect me to be nice either. She is still afterall his sister and MIL's daughter. I'm not so heartless to chase her out.
And finally, I stand by my words and will not allow anyone to try putting words into my mouth. I will dig to the bottom to clear it. However, I'm a bit skeptical about her claim that her SIL told her my complaints at the forum. Anyone who's been at the forum long enough will know, how often do I complain about my kids? Not to mention calling them uncontrollable. Totally ridiculous!