两年了，时光流逝。说是放下了，可是心中对您的思念依然没减。也许最后那三年，我们真的很多时间在一起，所以身边的很多事与物都会让我想起您。


想到mee siam, 就想到你。上超市，多希望还是你在推着购物车，陪我逛。周六早上，多希望还能陪你去咖啡店吃半生熟鸡蛋。和你在一起的时候，我就好像回到一个小女孩一样，可以和爸爸撒娇。


又是十月，又是秋天，前天停留在我床上的飞蛾是您吗？是您来看我了吗？


心还是在痛，眼泪还是会流。很想能再次牵到你的手，很希望能再拥抱你，永远那么爱你，爸爸。。。。

Arrggghhh....

Am I impatient? or is she totally stubborn? Guess different pple will tell me different answers. But she's really testing my limits. I know I shd not, I know I promised him, but why cant she be more like him? I would love to live the rest of her life with her if she's more like him, seriously. But if she continues to be like that, I think my life will be shortened too.

ok ok, go on and call me unfilial. I dun care!

Just shut up!

Mouth: Hey, would you just stop talking and let me enjoy peace and quiet?

Me: why? I've views and opinions and I should share it what? and when I care for pple around me, I need to let them know.

Mouth: Since when do pple believe what you say or how you see things? Do you think they trust you? Please la, it's been like that since young and you still never learn yr lesson.

Me: but...but...I believe there'll come a day when they'll see my truthfulness and believe that I'm genuine. Then they'll see my point of view.

Mouth: ya ya ya, when will that day come? will that day even come? Just shut up and save yr breath la. Nobody will agree with you, you'll always be at fault, always the one that's wrong.

Me:...................

付与真心诚意、付出了真我，可又有谁明了？当身边最亲最近的人都有所置疑的时候，你还能要求什么人明了？

爸爸，我好想你！似乎这世上只有你明白我的出发点，只有你知道我的心在哪里。

First snow in Shanghai, 2010

We welcomed Shanghai's first snow for 2010 today!

Weather forecast said there'll be rain-cum-snow today due to the cold current from the North. Temperature dropped a good 5 degrees Celcius to a low of about 3degC and high of 8degC.

The snow started around midday with tiny specks of snow flying in the air, melting the moment it touches a solid surface. An hour later, the snow flakes got bigger as the wind got stronger! By 330pm, this is what we have! Everywhere is turning white and snow is accumulating!

The wind is still quite strong and it's freezing cold out there. But the kids are having so much fun, throwing snow at each other already!

If it continues to be dry and snowing tonight, we'll be expecting to walk on ice tomorrow! brrr.....

秋天残留的足迹

今早看着是晴朗、有阳光的天气，可一下楼就冷得直哆嗦。。。这温度又跌了！

今年的秋天太短了，眼看冬天就要来临了。温度降得太快了，树木花草都来不及反应，树叶也来不及转黄飘落，就都干枯在树上了！看来我们即将迎接的会是一个寒冬了。

永远思念您

时间过得太匆匆，您离去已经整整一年了。去年这天所发生的一切，依然历历在目。每当想起您、看到您留下的物件或您的照片时，心里还是一阵酸痛，眼眶还是不自主地泛起泪珠。时间并没有冲淡对您的思念，也没有减少失去您的痛楚。

从小就很渴望您多一点关怀，希望您能多和我说说话，可是您却是如此严肃、不苟言笑。但我知道，您是爱我们的。陪您去看中国电影纪录片，什么《中国十大奇观》之类的影片，我知道您是多么想念家乡、想念爷爷奶奶。在我写给爷爷的信中我提过，长大后我要陪您回去和他们团聚。可惜，他们都每能等到我长大。

叛逆期把我们之间的距离拉得更远了。到了结婚成家后，变成我没时间去了解您的状况。待我闲下来的时候，您已是白发苍苍。

六年前的秋天，您到北京探望我们，我是多么的开心，您知道吗？陪您攀长城、逛故宫、游天安门，仿佛圆了我儿时的愿望，从新认识您、接近您。随您回莆田老家，见到您和叔叔、堂叔们的交流，那份喜悦，让我意识到您对他们的感情有多深。

冥冥中一切似乎已经注定；我们提前回新，买了房子后又把您两老接过来住。我感谢苍天赐给我这个机会，让我陪您走完人生最后的数年。感谢上天给我这个不孝女有机会作出补偿，尽我应尽的孝道。我是幸运的，我是有福的，因为在您人生最后的日子里，我都在您身边陪伴着。人家都说女儿多亲近妈妈，可我却偏偏相反，一颗心都是念您多过念妈妈。

您走了，我的心也脱了一截。身子好像一时间老了，对事与物也不怎么提得起劲了。也许时间长了，心里的痛楚会渐渐减少，可是感觉再也回不到从前那样了。

人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全，但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。。。。

您在夜空的那端，是否还好？知道我依然在思念着您吗？

Kids will always be kids

Hub's traveling again, and as usual, the kids all bunked-in in my room.

They were having so much fun ....laughing, joking, giggling, play-pretending, teasing each other away. It's moments like these that assured us that it was a right choice to room them together for as long as possible.

One moment it was like a riot in the room and the noise level was hitting the roof! the next moment, they're all sound asleep and the room is left with the sound of the aircon blowing.

Having been nagging my 14yo to please grow up and behave better and be more matured. But he's really the 'leader' to his 2 brothers, esp when it comes to play! Still remember when he went on a 10-day trip with his school 2years ago, it became so quiet at home and the other 2 seemed so lost. Without this live wire, they're just not the same at all. So I guess I'll just to have let him be, and let him continue to be the leader to his brothers.

taobao, my new love!

My first purchase from taobao.com! A pair of cool-looking leather shoes for Matt. Nice right? And their service is really good. I ordered on Thu morning, they called me in the afternoon to confirm order, and on Sat morning it was delivered to my apartment! speedy isnt it? And the best part is, I only pay after receiving and inspecting the goods. cool!

I'm so in love with taobao now. that'll also means my pocket's gonna burn a hole soon!! hee... ;P

Finally back on blogger

The sad thing about living in China is the restrictions on internet. As many would already know, Blogger and Facebook are blocked, and many other overseas sites too. Finally, thru friends' recommendation, we subscribed to VPN, manuevre around the installation and connections, and voila! We're back on.

will gradually add on more updates on our new life in Shanghai!

Goodbye Singapore!

one photo with our helper before we head off to the airport.

Goodbye Singapore! we'll be back, but dunno when. You'll still be our motherland, our roots. Just for now, home will be in Shanghai.

Everything's packed

Everything's been packed up and out of the house already. These pictures were taken last night and now, the living and dining is 95% empty. We've had to eat our dinner on a mahjong table with plastic chairs. hee...

Suddenly feel a sense of emptiness. Has been so busy tying up lose ends over the last few weeks, haven't really had time to think about the move. Now that things are moving faster, reality is setting in. But am I ready for the move? Feeling quite lost actually.

You wouldn't believe this!

My watch fell to the floor, and its crystal face chipped and cracked all directions!?

I've had this watch since early 1999 and have dropped it (ya ya, butter fingers) umpteen times. Never had it had any scratches on its crystal face before. And this evening before I left for a dinner appointment, it just slipped off my hands, landed on the marble floor and gosh! I got a shock when I picked it up. A tiny bit of chipped off the edge inwards and the broken pieces trapped inside the watch face. And the rest of the crystal face cracked in all directions! It must hv landed at the edge of the face and hit some chipped, sharp corner on the marble. For a moment my heart cracked just like the crystal face! I want to cry!!!

He has grown

Went for medical check-up with Drew this morning. It was a requirement for the China residential permit application.

While doing the routine checks, the nurse measured his height and weight. 166cm and 52.2kg! Gosh! My son is taller than me already! He was just 145cm two years ago, and he has grown 21cm in that period! Mine oh mine! He has grown so much! Now I'm gonna have problem scolding him at eye level. Would have to make him sit down whenever I need to give him a lecture from now on. haha.... ;P

"Intense love does not measure, it just gives" -- Mother Teresa

清明时节雨纷纷

还好今早没下雨，但是就热得可以咯！

今早我们先到哥哥家去祭拜爸爸，然后再带了一些素菜到光明山去。

每到清明和中元节，光明山普觉寺都是人山人海的。很多人都是一家大小都来祭祖，还带来许多祭品和纸扎品。也许这就是他们所谓的尽孝道吧。总想，故人生前他们是否也常一家大小的陪伴他们呢？

我向来都不相信这些的，节日祭祖也只是延续家婆生前的惯例。所以我通常都是从简，简单的素菜，基本的纸钱纸衣就算了。人死了，就烟消云散了，还要这些东西有什么用？活着的时候没吃好、穿好，死了祭拜得再好也只是给活人看而已。

妈却不同，她相信往生、相信人死了会到另一个境界去生活，所以照样需要吃的、穿的、用的、花的。一直以来她都不赞同我的看法，一直要改变我的观点。直到爸爸去世时，她都很担心我也会一切要求从简。出乎意料，我对她的一切要求都做足了，一切都随她，只要让她安心就好。殡丧过后，她跟二姐说，没想到我会一切依她。也许她忘了，是爸说的，“一切都依你妈的意思去办吧。”我这也是在完成爸的遗愿啊。。。。

Little kitty

Heard mewing sounds since last night. And found this kitty at my neighbour's fence this morning. We decided to 'rescue' it and hopefully find it a permanent home and loving owner.

This little one was so frightened when we brought it back. It was hissing at us when we tried to touch it, and will claw us when we tried to carry it.

After half a day non-stop mewing, it finally calmed down and settled pretty nicely in our shower room. And ate some steamed fish and white rice.

Through facebook, we finally found it a sweet owner and a nice home to go to. Let's hope it'll settle down quickly and enjoy its new family.

Matt was pretty upset when our friend collected it. He wished we could keep it, but unfortunately we'll be leaving the country, so it's definitely not possible to keep it.

While looking through the pictures we took for it, Matt suddenly asked, "Will the little kitty grow up to look like Dewey?" And that's the picture from the cover of the book Dewey.

Do you think the little kitty will look like this when all grown up? >)

He started on a new journey

Today, hubby started on a new career journey in Shanghai, China. Went there with him last Friday and did some househunting over the wkend.

Shanghai has changed so much. Was last there in 2007, and merely 3 yrs, things are so different already. Pudong used to be rather deserted then, and now, it's skyscrapers everywhere! It's quite similar to Singapore now.

The next two months will be busy getting schools and housing organised before the rest of us join him. I hope I can gather myself and focus on the things to be done. As it is, my mind is still "all over the place". sigh...

Oops, I nearly forgot!

Happy 16th Anniversary to my darling and me!!

Hope we'll have many more 16 years ahead. Luv u dear!

Accident

Nope, not me. But we were the first witnesses.

Went to Suntec with Nic for his piano theory grading test this morning. Followed by a rush buy at the IT Show. Was on our way home when we witness this 'freak' accident.

Was driving along Benjamin Sheares Bridge, heading towards the Tanjong Rhu entrance into KPE. We were on the right lane and a motorcycle was on the left. Just as we approached the curve into the tunnel, suddenly, the motorcycle next to me hit something and went into a somersault!!! The motorist landed face/chest down, seemed really bad.

My first instinct was filter left and stopped the car at the road shoulder. Reminded Nic to stay put in the car, while I quickly got off and ran towards the motorist. As I got off, I realise 3 other cars stopped behind me and the drivers also got off to help. As we approached the motorist, we could see him lying face down, motionless. Blood was coming out of his mouth and nose. A Cisco van and another car stopped behind him and his bike to prevent any reckless driver from crashing into him.

I squat down and kept calling, "uncle, are you ok? uncle, are you concious??" He's a slightly chubby, 50-60yo Chinese man. Part of his denture broke and flew out, lying on the road looking bloody! After a short while, he was started moving. I kept asking him if he felt any pain in his neck or his back, and told him to stay still and wait for the ambulance. The Cisco officer called for the ambulance, while few other guys helped to pick up his bike and pushed it to the side.

After about 5mins, the uncle kind of regained his senses after the shock and got up with the help of the guys. They sat him down at the side of the road and gave him tissue to clean himself. I picked up the broken piece of his denture with a piece of tissue and gave it back to him. As he cleaned himself, I asked if he wanted to call his family and inform them. He kept saying no and that he can ride the bike back himself!!?? We told him no, he needs to wait for the ambulance to check him before he could go.

Seeing that he looked ok, and there were the other guys around. I apologised and excused myself as Nic was still waiting in the car.

There was no report of the accident in the papers. Apparently what his bike hit was a 2ft by 1ft by 1/2ft block of wood. Possibly dropped off from some trucks or what. I really hope the uncle wasn't badly injured. Hope he didn't have any internal injuries because the fall really looked very bad. His bike's handle was a little slanted and the side mirrors were broken. His helmet's front shield also flew off. Really hope he is fine.

同样是中午；同样是沿着KPE, ECP, Keppel Rd, Cantonment Rd；同样的来到中央医院。多么熟悉的路程，那么熟悉的地方。心情依然沉重，情绪有点失控。随着车子驶入停车场，显现在眼前的就是爸最后入住的那座病房，一时泪水失控地在眼眶里打滚。那天的点点滴滴又历历在目，让人心痛不已。


快五个月了，没想到我仍然放不下。一直都在劝他们要看开、要放下，可是却忽略了自己一直压抑在心底的痛楚。现在它就好像绝堤一样，汹涌而出，迅速把我淹没！原来我是那么的脆弱。