Off to de-stress

was chosen for a commercial shoot because they wanted an aunty face to make it more convincing. hee...

Met the crew at the supermarket this afternoon. They were a fun group of people. That made things much easier for me since it's my first time (and most probably last). We joked and laughed throughout the setup and shooting. The whole crew was very easy-going and they were very forgiving when I made so many mistakes and kept having "NG".

It was hardwork. Shooting only took 5-10mins, but the equipment and area setting up took much longer. And imagine, the actual commercial will only be like 15-20secs? The whole thing took about 3hrs to complete just for 3 shots. Tough job!

Drew was with me and had a part to play in it too. It was both fun and scary for him. haha... But a good experience as he finally get to see how a commercial is produced and how tough is work in real life.

Thanks to the fun people I met today. You helped take the stress (and my migraine;P) off my mind for a while.

Dad was discharged today. The last 2 days they gave him morphine syrup, some injections and a new steroid drug. An x-ray was taken for his lungs upon admission and the oncologist requested a CT scan. All was done and they decided that he should head home.

His oncologist reduced a couple of his hypertension medication and added the morphine syrup and steroid drug. Spoke to the MO over the phone when I fetched him. Apparently the CT scan was ordered because his oncologist found some unknown shadows in his chest xray. Unfortunately the CT scan confirmed his suspicion. The tumour in his lung has started spreading. They're not sure if there's any spreading through those in his lymph nodes though. But my sixth sense and daily observation tells me it has. Now the only thing that can be done is to provide symptomatic treatment as and when needed. An oxygen concentrator is recommended for standby whenever he gets too breathless.

Imagine hearing all these in front of him and having to keep a straight face. I dunno when I have learned this skill of acting. I felt so numb..so helpless..so lost...

昨天。。。

。。在医院，老爸说，

＂我没事啦，打了针，精神好多了，也没那么喘。你不要担心啊，知道吗？不要担心、不要难过，如果一天我真的走了，你们不要哭，知道吗？我不担心，也没有遗憾，我很满足了。＂


我心很痛。。很痛。。。我整颗心就快被泪水淹没了。。。

He must have felt really bad...

..yesterday that he asked to see the doctor. He didn't eat much for breakfast, only took a slice of mooncake around 11+. Didn't even touch his lunch at all. Can see that he's really catching his breath when he asked me if we can ask the homecare doctor to come?

Sms the home care nurse, but she suggested we bring him to NCC's walk-in clinic. Called NCC, they checked and recommended that we send him directly to SGH A&E and have him admitted.

Spent about 5hr+ at the A&E and they still couldn't get a bed ready for him. But he looked much better and could drink a cup of milo and ate some biscuits. It was 10pm and he chased us home while he stayed at the observation room and waited to be transferred to the ward.

At 1140pm, he called me and got the nurse to tell me his ward and bed numbers. At least they got him into the ward and he could sleep better on a proper bed.

This morning went there around 8am and managed to catch the oncologist before he left. He has ordered for a CT scan for Dad to check the condition of his lungs. And according to him, the swelling that Dad's experiencing now is due to the fall in his nutrition level, which is common in end stage patients. They will prescribe morphine to help him ease any pain and reduce his breathlessness. And will also arrange for an oxygen machine for him to use at home after his discharge. These seemed to be the only things they could do for him now.

When Mum and I went back to see Dad again after lunch, he looked much better. He said they gave him an injection and he felt less breathless. His appetite improved a little and he could finish most of his lunch. I bought 2 pieces of sugar roll for him and he gladly kept it aside for tea. But we were there for merely half an hour and the 2 of them started squabbling again. Then he literally chased us home. sigh...

Maybe I shd be happy, since that means he's breathing well enough to argue with Mum!? hmm...

我还能做些什么？

听见爸的咳声，我走进房去看他。刚睡醒的他，样子非常憔悴。

＂爸，今天会很喘吗？胃口好点吗？＂
＂很喘，躺着透不过气，坐着大腿那里又痛。啧。。很辛苦。＂
＂你刚吃药，等多一下可能会比较好点。＂
＂哎呀，你不懂。这样子，吃也喘、睡也喘、讲话也喘，真的很辛苦。可以走的话，快点走了好些。＂

我哽咽着，说不出话了。

＂唉，你们不要担心，我自己都不担心了。活到这个岁数，有大家在我身边，我很满足了。＂

我低着头，默默握着他的手，泪水只能在眼眶里打滚。。。

what luck!

Hubby went JB for golf yesterday with few friends. Parked his car along the road side and walked about 4-5 shops down the corner for lunch. Just less than an hour and they returned to a shattered car window and 2 missing bags! :<

2 of his friends lost their bags along with their wallets and passports. Luckily hub and the 3rd friend placed their bags in the back below the golf clubs. Otherwise all 4 bags would have been taken.

Nagged at him not to go JB for golf again. But as usual, he has his own excuses, "aiya, this is not the usual place we go to. Otherwise wouldn't have happened. Our usual haunt very safe one." !!!??? sigh...he'll go to extremes just for golf.

So I'm not 100% Chinese afterall!!!

All these years I've been questioned so often about my ethnicity. Many thought I had some Indian or whatever descent, which contributed to my sharp features. When I was younger, I tend to get offended and proclaimed to be 100% pure Chinese. Never would I imagine that 41yrs later today, then I found out that I'm 1/16 of an 'ang-moh'!! And most probably it's Russian descent somemore! haha...

Anyway, my Mum has brown hair, sharp nose and was really fair when she was young. I've asked her quite a few times if she knew whether there's been some inter-racial marriage in her natural parents' ancestral line. But she didn't know because her natural parents had never told her anything. I must dig out her wedding photo and you'll understand why I got suspicious as I get older. And then yesterday, she went to Malaysia to attend my cousin's son's wedding. It was there that she started chatting with my other cousins and found out this bit of history from them! So amazing!

Apparently, my Mum's paternal great-grandfather was a Caucasian raised by a Chinese family. The background was like he was born to an unwed Caucasian mother, and they had to give him up. We believe this took place in mid-1800s in China. My cousins briefly remembered his nationality was probably Russian. What a discovery!

Told my siblings via sms and they were all so surprised! It sure sounds unbelievable...haha... But I'm not kidding ok?