Sunday, 31 January 2010

what the hell??

somebody asked why I looked so unhappy and angry on my father's 100th day prayers??! Did somebody or something made me angry or what?

goodness! do you expect me to be smiling, laughing and joking away to 'celebrate' the 100th day after my father's passing? am I suppose to be happy about losing him?? what the .....

nobody can understand the pain I'm going through. and I cant even cry it out as and when I like simply bcos mum is with me. I cry, she'll cry too. Suppressing one's feelings is the worse thing in the world.

that's why I hate gatherings now. I hate meeting people and have to suppress my feelings and put up a front. I wish i can lock up in the room all by myself.