Sunday, 31 January 2010

what the hell??

somebody asked why I looked so unhappy and angry on my father's 100th day prayers??! Did somebody or something made me angry or what?

goodness! do you expect me to be smiling, laughing and joking away to 'celebrate' the 100th day after my father's passing? am I suppose to be happy about losing him?? what the .....

nobody can understand the pain I'm going through. and I cant even cry it out as and when I like simply bcos mum is with me. I cry, she'll cry too. Suppressing one's feelings is the worse thing in the world.

that's why I hate gatherings now. I hate meeting people and have to suppress my feelings and put up a front. I wish i can lock up in the room all by myself.



ugly betty said...

hello my mum lost her dad in july last year he was the foundation of the entire family and she is still trying to get past his death, my best friend lost her mum 2 months ago and is having a very hard time trying to live life, she doesnt know how to react, she finds it hard to talk to God or to any1.
well what am trying to say is sometimes we go through hard times and it feels like we're going through them alone, its ok to cry, its ok to take time out for urself and just let it all out;cry scream just let out all the emotion...u wont heal immidiatly it takes time,u can neva get over sum one death but the pain u feel in ur heart will get better in time...

Alfonso said...

Losing a parent is painful and profoundly sad. I know it by experience. Tears are a healing balm for the soul. They are not the final solution for your deep sense of loss but they help.

I agree, it is OK to cry, jump, scream, take time alone, etc. No need to explain anything to nobody.

Hugs are soothing too!

Praying is always a healing source.

You will never be alone.

edith said...

Hi, losing someone close takes time to heal. I lost a close young friend, my young aunt, my young cousin and my grannies. Those were very painful journeys. You will cry, you will daze, you are angry, you will be disinterested with your surrounding but after some time, you will realised that each day become easier to go through.

Hang on there. There is always ups and downs. Most importantly, you know you are surrounded by people who cares and love you.

Live with the fond memories but move ahead with loving yourself and then loving others.

Talk it out and you feel better.

Snowbrush said...

I have lost both my parents, and I know that it can take years to fully come to terms with, if then. 100 days is nothing after a beloved parent's death. Months passed after my mother died before I felt my first five minutes of happiness.

santi said...

nobody wants to be lonely..

hey,, look around you,