Wednesday, 2 April 2008


Just got back fm the clinic with Dad. He did a chest xray and report came out as follows:

Minimal fibrotic tuberculous foci are seen in both upper zones. The lesions look inactive. In addition, there is a small low-density opacity in the periphery of the right upper zone. (It overlies the anterior part of the 2nd rib.) This may be part of the tuberculous lesion. However other possibilities, even a malignant focus, may have to be considered. The right hilum is marginally large. The rest of the lungs are clear.

Am totally shocked to see this report. Doc explained that it might have been an old case that was not detected but recovered on its own. His main concern is the small opacity at the upper right zone which may be a reactivated lesion or a growth. That'll need to be checked by specialist and probably a more detailed ultra-sound scan to be done. Doc wrote a referral letter and I'll be heading to SGH with dad next Tue for his usual appt and further specialist referral.

I was feeled with shock and fear. My tears were oozing out when I read the report but I had to fight it back bcos both dad and mum were with me. I hv to remain very calm to assure them that everything will be fine, it's not gonna be a big issue. But I'm not sure myself. I'm so scared! I kinda hate myself now. Why didn't I insist that he consults a doctor earlier for his cough and do more detailed checks? Why didn't I accompany him for his last few check-ups and insist that the doctor investigate further into his persistent cough? Why? Why? Why?

I'm so lost. Will continue to feel very lost till we've seen his doctor followed by the specialist and more detailed diagnostic tests. sigh.........

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