14 Jun - Had a simple Father's Day celebration with my siblings and nieces and nephews. Though not everyone was here, but it was a good get-together. Took this snapshot with Dad, eldest sis and 4th sis. Felt so loved when Dad place his hand around my shoulder. As I've said, he's such a traditional Chinese man, he hardly shows his affection towards us. I guess the discovery of his illness has brought all of us even closer together, and he also realised that we all love him very very much. Dad, we want to celebrate many many more Father's Day with you. Be strong and we'll fight the battle with you.
17 Jun - Overheard Dad calling his niece-in-law in China. He told her about his illness briefly as Mum was around. Then later he went upstairs and called his cousin and told him too. He kept telling them not to worry, everything will be fine after treatment. Even told them that he'll go back and visit them next year after he recovers and regain more strength. Felt very happy that he's so positive, but at the same time feel so worried that he might be disappointed when his condition deteriorates. sigh...I feel so helpless.
18 Jun - Had breakfast with Dad on our usual weekly marketing trip. Dad's favourite is soft-boil eggs, toasted bread and coffee. While eating, I was reminding him that he should refrain fm eating soft-boil eggs once he starts chemo since doctor has specifically said all his food has to be properly and thoroughly cooked. Then I told him not to worry as I've heard of a friend's mother being diagnosed of stage 4 lung cancer and still managed to live more than 3 years with chemo. I'm sure he'll be able to pull thru this ordeal. He said very positively in Chinese, "I am not worried, why do you all get so worried for me? Living up to my age, having all my children and grandchildren so close to me, I'm very contented already. If I am cured, it is a bonus. If not then it's just destined that I've lived enough." Hearing his words I've to fight back my tears. Dad, you're so strong! We've really under-estimated your ability to handle all these. I feel even more guilty for keeping it from you initially. I'm sorry...
19 Jun - Ha! Something that put a bright smile on Dad's and Mum's face. Dad strike 4D!! Tho not very much, but he's happy! Drove him to claim the prize money just now and he was joking and laughing with Mum the whole journey. Glad that he's laughing.
However, while walking up the stairs, he told me that he's beginning to feel breathless. And he checked his weight this morning, it's only 50.5kg!! He's been losing weight since his discharge even though his appetite has been really good. Can see some silent frustration on his face. I really feel so so so helpless. What can I do to help him? Gonna buy more Vit B Complex and Iron tablets for him this afternoon. He's already started on his Lingzhi and I dunno what else can I make for him to build up his strength. He needs to be stronger before he starts his chemo. what can I do what can I do what else can I do???