Tuesday 20 May 2008

seeing him hurts me even more

Dad was discharged on Sunday. He was so happy when the houseman asked him whether he missed home while doing his round that morning. Started calling all of us at 940am to inform us he could go home! When I fetched him, he declared that his tests results were all out but the doctors did not comment anything and discharged him, so he must have had a clean bill. My heart tightened as I listened, but I could only smile and agree with him, and nothing more...

He's so energetic these 2 days. Good appetite too. Requested for curry fish head on Sunday, and crab bee hoon last night. He had a good time chatting with old friends at the temple yesterday. And also called his niece and nephews in Fujian to inform them that he's well and home already. Seeing him like that, it pains me even more to know that we'll hv to reveal the truth to him next week. I really wish time will just freeze...

看他那么充满希望,满怀信心的,我真的不忍心把事实告诉他!

痛...痛...痛.......yet still hv to put on a smile and joke wth them, and make them happy.

I need strength...I need strength....I NEED STRENGTH!!!!!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

My heart goes to you! I know it's never easy for anyone, but I hope you continue to stay strong.

If your parents do go to temples and since you are looking for your "god", why don't you follow them and visit a temple? You might find consolation and peace there...

Take care, h

BeLive said...

Hi Carol,

Is it possible not to tell your dad? Given myself this situation, I rather he live a happy life and I continue to live in pain.

Do take care.

Anonymous said...

Belive, I'm sorry but I disagree with you. I feel that Carol's father should, and has a right to know what is happening to him. It would then be his choice how he wishes to handle his health.

Carol, don't worry too much. Your dad may be stronger than what you thought. Or he may already suspect something is wrong but chooses to ignore. Many times, elderly look at life very differently from us. I remember there was once when my dad was seriously ill and I was very very upset. He in turn consoled me that 生老病死 is what everyone will have to go through and he has lived a long life with no regrets and therefore I should not be too upset.

It hurts a great deal but try not to let the sadness overwhelms you so much that you could not enjoy the moments with your dad. Treasure all happy moments with him and love him / be with him as much as you can while he is still around. Take care.

Elaine

william said...

yiyi.. can u pls link me at willliamlamirritating.blogspot.com.. thx..

mummytay said...

Thk u Shirley! Thk u Elaine for yr comforting words! And thk u h, altho i cant figure out who you're. I'll be strong for him.